


gradual completion

by iamnotalizard



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Happy Ending, M/M, Mpreg, Trans Character, but like... irl mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-18 21:35:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9403799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamnotalizard/pseuds/iamnotalizard
Summary: Since the day that he learned what a baby is, and the process of acquiring one, Cassian had sworn off kids for life.





	

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact my original title for this was 'Cassian: *drop kicks a child into the sun*'  
> i aint so sure if the new title is better

Since the day that he learned what a baby _is_ , and the process of acquiring one, Cassian had sworn off kids for life. He had never been a kid person, didn’t even live half the people that he met that were his own age, and after going through years of hell, transitioning, therapy, and proving to everyone - including himself- that he was just as much a _man_ as any other dickhead in the Rebel Alliance, any thoughts of children were accompanied with a strange feeling in his chest, one that made Cassian feel more uncomfortable than anything else.

 

On some level, Cassian knew how lucky he was to have a boyfriend who, not only accepted him completely, but was equally understanding about his feelings of kids. Cassian knew that Bodhi _did_ want a kid, someday. But until then, they were both happy to live in their bubble, of Rebellion and them.

 

So when Shara and Kes Dameron announced they were going to be having a kid, Cassian made some jokes about _why would you WILLINGLY invite a demon into your home?_ And _Kes, I know you think your looks are as good as mine, but using Shara to try and make a kid more handsome than me is just playing dirty._ Bodhi laughed at the jokes, but then hurriedly congratulates them both.

 

He isn’t on Yavin V when Shara goes into labor, is off on a surveillance mission when Bodhi sends him a quick transmission saying, “Shara gave birth to a cute baby boy! Kes says that he’ll have you beat in looks. Can’t wait to see you again, love you!”

 

It’s when Cassian returns to base, sweaty, tired, when Bodhi greets him with a tight hug, a kiss on the cheek, and begins to pull Cassian this way and that.

 

“Bodhi,” Cassian will never admit that he whines, “Where are you taking me? I want to have a shower.”

 

“No, you need to meet Poe first!” Bodhi giggles, and Cassian now realizes he’s getting pulled towards the Dameron’s living quarters.

 

“Who the fuck is Poe?” Cassian asks, and at Bodhi look, Cassian goes, “ _Oh._ Poe’s the demon, right?”

 

Bodhi finally ceases his pulling, and crosses his arms with a small huff, “Poe isn’t a demon, he’s a very sweet kid, and you better not make him cry!”

 

“Just because I don’t like kids doesn’t mean that I make them cry automatically.” Cassian grumbled, and let Bodhi resume tugging him along. All too soon, Bodhi was knocking excitedly on Shara and Kes’ door, only stopping when Shara opened the door, one finger pressed against her lips as she made a ‘shush’ noise. Bodhi quickly pulled Cassian into the room, a big smile on his face.

 

“Hey, Shara,” Cassian mumbles, his tiredness catching up with him, making his eyes droop and words come out slurred.

 

“Hello, Cassian, good to have you back. Kes is just out on a quick flight, he’ll be back soon.” If Cassian looked tired, it was only from a mission, but Shara had a different kind of tiredness about her. One that created bags under her eyes, like Cassian’s, but unlike Cassian it made her smile every so slightly, gave her a gentle aura, soften her usual spit fire attitude. “Poe is just napping, so you’ll have to be gentle.”

 

That’s when Shara leads them over to a small crib, and Cassian can feel Bodhi vibrating excitedly next to him. He peers over the edge to see a swaddled bundle, with dark curly hair sticking out from the opening. The _thing_ is indeed sleeping, Cassian notices, but there isn’t anything remarkable about him.

 

“Cute,” he says, simply, hoping that’ll appease his boyfriend’s watching gaze. The strange feeling that Cassian always gets around children starts to bubble up, and more than anything he wants to leave before he starts dwelling on it too much. But Bodhi’s happy face, and Shara’s kind gaze keeps him in place.

 

“Sit down, you can hold him.” Shara says.

 

“Uh, actually, I’m good,” Cassian says, but it falls on deaf ears, as Bodhi is already pushing him into a chair, and Shara is already picking up the bundle. Cassian can see it squirming and dreads what he knows is coming next. Shara steps closer, holding the baby out to Cassian, and he reluctantly, awkwardly, grabs hold of it.

 

“Here, you have to put your hand here,” Bodhi guides one of Cassian’s hands so that it’s under the kid’s neck, “And then you can put your arm like this to support his weight.” Cassian follows Bodhi’s lead, hesitantly, until the baby - _Poe,_ Cassian reminds himself - looks as comfortable and he could get. Cassian looks at Poe, tilting his head slightly, still wondering what the hell is so great about kids anyways. Bodhi is looking at both of them with stars in his eyes, and Cassian just _doesn’t get it._

 

Poe yawns, startling Cassian slightly, and blinks until big, dark brown eyes are looking at Cassian’s face.

 

Poe blinks. Cassian blinks back. Then, Poe does something unexpected, unpredictable, and totally uncalled for, in Cassian’s opinion.

 

Poe Dameron, previous alias being The Demon, Kid, and Thing, _giggles_ , before untangling one of his chubby little arms, and smacks it gently on Cassian’s cheek. Bodhi laughs behind his hand, and Cassian’s eyes go wide.

 

“Oh, look who woke up.” Shara says, happily, “I can take him back from you, if you want.”

 

Just as Bodhi goes to collect Poe, Cassian interrupts and manages to get a choked, “No. No, I’m.. good.”

 

“You sure?” Bodhi asks, curious but smiling.

 

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Cassian says, staring at Poe’s face in a mixture of wonder and confused happiness.

 

It later, after Cassian has finally showered, when he tangled up with Bodhi in bed, a large shirt covering his frame when he whispers, “Bodhi?”

 

“Yes, dear?” Bodhi mumbles back sleepily.

 

“I think… I would be open… to talking about kids again.” There’s a noticeable strain in his voice as he says it, and for a second Bodhi doesn’t say or do anything. Then, he shuffles, turns to look Cassian in the eyes.

 

“You know, just because _I_ want kids doesn’t mean you have to want them,” he looks thoughtful for a moment, “And even if we both want them, I’m not going to force you to get pregnant if you don’t want to be.”

 

Cassian shrugs awkwardly. He’s still working on the ‘expressing emotions’ part of being in a relationship, “I mean. I don’t know about right now, but… I think I’m okay with talking about it again.”

 

Bodhi hums, “This wouldn’t have anything to do with meeting Poe, would it?”

 

Cassian huffs, “Shut up Rook.” Bodhi laughs, pressing a kiss to Cassian head, then settles into a comfortable silence.

 

(It’s even later, weeks later, when Cassian tells Bodhi, “I don’t think… I don’t think I could handle being pregnant, or if i could even _get_ pregnant. I’ve… done a lot of things that… well, things that probably haven’t made getting pregnant any _easier_ for me, and-”

 

Bodhi quiets him with a kiss, “Cassian, my dear, my sweet, my stars and my moon, the great love of my life -”

 

“Bodhi!” Cassian interrupts, blushing. Bodhi smiles.

 

“Cassian, I don’t want kids, _right now,_ hell, I don't even want kids within the new few years. We can worry about the how and the when later, okay?”

 

Cassian grins, “Okay.”)

 

Poe, it turns out, is just as much a fan of Cassian and Bodhi as they are of him.

 

“Tío! Tío!” Poe’s excited voice chimes, overpowering the sounds of machinery in the hangar.

 

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite nephew!” Cassian says, kneeling down to catch the running boy in his arms, before lifting him high above his head. Poe’s giggles ring happy and loud.

 

“You know he’s your only nephew, and not even a real one at that.” Kaytoo comments, while Bodhi presses a kiss onto Poe’s cheek. Cassian waves Kaytoo off.

 

“Anyone this handsome _must_ be my nephew!” Cassian says, as Kes and Shara finally catch up with them.

 

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Kes asks after they’ve all greeted each other.

 

“Of course we will,” Bodhi says, taking Poe into his arms, pointedly ignoring the small hands tugging his hair, “It’s only a few days, and then, we’ll be back, safe and sound, before you know it.”

 

Kes and Shara smile tiredly, pass Cassian Poe’s backpack, and then start their goodbye’s to Poe.

 

“Now remember to behave.”

 

“I will.”

 

“And be nice to your Uncle Baze and Uncle Chirrut, you know that they aren’t as energetic as you are.”

 

“I will.”

 

“And brush your teeth and eat all your veggies.”

 

“I will.” Poe makes face of disgust while he agrees.

 

“And don’t forget to-”

 

“Kes! He’ll be fine.” Cassian says, putting a hand on Poe’s head, “We’ll take good care of him. We’ll even take him out for walks.”

 

Shara rolls her eyes, but gives Poe a kiss on the forehead, “Bring back my son in one piece.”

 

The flight to the planet that Baze and Chirrut live on is uneventful but packed full of excited talking, courtesy of Poe, some ‘Age Appropriate Fun Facts’, courtesy of Kaytoo, and more than enough snacks and cuddles, courtesy of Bodhi and Cassian.

 

Chirrut and Baze are more than happy to see their ‘honorary grandson’, and they nearly spoil Poe more than Cassian does.

 

“So, when are you two thinking about having kids of your own?” Chirrut aks in the middle of dinner.

 

Bodhi turns red in the face, while Cassian chokes on his food. Poe is too busy staring at his peppers, trying to will them off his plate to notice.

 

“Well, uh,” Cassian fumbles with his words, “We, uh.”

 

“Cassian decided that he would like to have surgery before we, uh, tried,” Bodhi says, saving Cassian from having to say it himself. He throws Bodhi a smile and gives his hand a squeeze to say thank you.

 

“And I, uh, still need to get some tests done to make sure I can have kids.” Cassian adds, getting quieter the more he talks. Every time he mentions it, the _if_ of him getting pregnant, flashbacks of the many bad choices he’s made over his life pop up. Of many injuries to his stomach, of the many late nights spent drinking, and of the many times he decided to skip doctors visits and just give himself his injections and medication himself. It was only when he met Bodhi when Cassian really started taking care of himself.

 

Chirrut opens his mouth to say something else, but Baze puts a hand on his shoulder to stop him. Everyone is silent for a moment before Bodhi says, “Poe, don’t think I _don’t_ see you putting those peppers in your napkin. Eat them.”

 

The next year is busy. It’s the year where Bodhi and Cassian decide to leave the Rebellion, bones aching and too many scars on their bodies to count; the year that Cassian finally gets top surgery, putting it off since he didn’t want to take medical leave, and it’s the year where they finally visit Jyn again, after she had taken off to do her own thing and had been jumping across the galaxy ever since. It’s a year of great joy for Cassian and Bodhi.

 

It’s also the year that Kes and Shara die (or presumably died) in combat, leaving Poe an orphan. He has other family members to take him in, but Cassian and Bodhi both can’t bear the thought of just shipping him away so soon, so they decide to take him back to their new house - a small cottage that’s a half an hour walk away from anybody else on a nice, damp planet - for a while.

 

Poe spends three straight days locked in the guest room that had been designated ‘Poe’s Room’, with Bodhi leaving plates of food outside the door, before Cassian finally picks the lock and walks in. Poe is just a lump underneath a blanket, quietly sniffling, though Cassian can make a guess that he’s all cried out. He sits gingerly on the bed, before placing a hand on the lump, guessing that it’s Poe’s back. The sniffles disappear.

 

“Hey, kid,” Cassian says, softly, “How’s my favorite nephew?”

 

All he gets is a soft whine in response. Cassian sighs, and removes his hand from Poe’s back for a second, before wrapping his arms around the lump, scooping him up into his lap. Poe’s head pops out of the opening, eyes red, hair messy and with dried snot on his face. Cassian decides to excuse the grossness, given the circumstances.

 

Poe looks at him with his big, brown eyes, and Cassian knows that no amount of words will help. They didn’t help him for a while, when his own parents died, and he doubts they’ll help Poe for a while. So instead of speaking, he just hugs Poe closer to his chest, rocks him back and forth, while another wave of sniffles come out of Poe’s mouth.

 

Poe spends four months with Cassian and Bodhi. Bodhi teaches Poe about different ships and even lets him sit in his lap while he does some quick trips. Cassian, half heartedly, starts trying to catch Poe up on all the school he’s been missing. He has no doubt that Poe will quickly catch up in an actual classroom, but figures there’s no hurt trying to help it along. Every evening they all sit under the covers in Cassian and Bodhi’s bedroom, watching whatever comes on the Holo, until Poe falls asleep. Sometimes Bodhi will carefully carry him to his own bed, but most of the time they just let him sleep in their bed until morning.

 

There’s a lot of tears the day that they pack up all Poe’s belongings into a backpack and fly him over to his aunt’s. Bodhi hugs Poe about a hundred times, attempts to smooth his curls just as much, and tells Poe that he is loved and welcomed to stay with them closer to a thousand times. Poe giggles, and says, “Love you too, tio.” every time. Cassian, unlike Bodhi, gives Poe one long hug, a kiss on the head, and says, “Hey, Poe?”

 

“Yeah, tio?”

 

“I know… that we’re not your parents, and we aren’t trying to be, but. You know we love you, a lot, like you’re our kid too, right”

 

Poe stays silent for a moment, and Cassian wonders if it was really the right time to say something like that. “Yeah, I know.”

 

“And you also know that you can come and stay with us any time, right? And that we’ll always love you no matter what?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Cassian nods, presses another kiss to Poe’s head then says, “Okay. As long as you know.”

 

(Cassian doesn’t admit it but on the flight back to his and Bodhi’s home, when he realizes how quiet and empty the ship is, he cries. Bodhi can’t bring himself to poke fun at him this time.)

 

Poe is nearly 10 years old when he finally gets a ‘sibling’. His aunt drops him off at the hospital, ruffles his hair then parts, and he waits for a few minutes for his tio Bodhi to show up.

 

His uncle’s hair is much longer now, the strands that have fallen out of the loose bun on his head nearly reaching his mid back. He looks tired, but happy, as he gives Poe a big huge and asks, “Do you want to meet your cousin?”

 

Poe nods with a big grin, grabs onto his uncle’s hand as they walk down the many hallways until they reach the room where Cassian is staying. There is a small baby lying on his chest, and Poe sees him slowly poking it’s head, grinning when the small chubby hand tries to bat his finger away.

 

“Stop annoying my baby.” Bodhi says, and by his tone of voice, Poe can guess that despite the baby only being about two days old, he’s had to say that phrase quite a bit. Cassian looks over, and his face lights up when he sees Poe.

 

“My favorite nephew! Come meet Ada!” Poe excitedly walks over, hears his uncle Bodhi saying, “Be careful!” but it’s unclear if it’s directed at him or Cassian.

 

Cassian picks Ada off his chest, then sits up, leaning against the pillows. Poe pulls himself up so he can sit on the side of the bed. The baby has dark skin, big eyes, and already a head full of hair.

 

“Doesn’t Ada look like Uncle Bodhi?” Cassian asks, voice soft in a way that Poe doesn’t remember hearing before. Poe tilts his head.

 

“No. Uncle Bodhi isn’t a baby.” Poe states. Bodhi laughs from a few feet away. Cassian rolls his eyes.

 

“Well, I know that.” He lets Poe look at Ada for a few seconds longer, “Want to hold your baby cousin?”

 

Poe considers for a few seconds, then nods. Ada is tiny, squirmy and feel much too light in his arms.

 

“Small.” He says, not caring if it’s not a complete sentence. Cassian snorts.

 

“You were even _smaller_ when you were born.”

 

“Was not.”

 

“Was too.” Cassian sticks his tongue out at the younger boy, and before Poe can rebut with another ‘was not!’, Bodhi steps in.

 

“How about we put Ada down, and then I’ll get us all some food?” Cassian nods quickly, apparently tired of normal hospital food. Poe reluctantly released the small child from his arms, then promptly went to cuddle with the now free Cassian.

 

(It was later that evening, with Poe asleep on one of the hospital chairs, using Bodhi’s jacket as a pillow, when Cassian said, “You know, even though we only just _now_ have an actual kid… I still feel like our family has always been complete.”

  
“I know.” Bodhi says, petting Cassian’s slightly greasy hair, “I feel the same.” And even though this pocket of time was temporary and fleeting, Bodhi and Casian both knew it was their family.)

**Author's Note:**

> when ya bullshit an ending just right


End file.
